Skip to Content
  • Home
  • About the Bar
  • Mission
  • Forms
  • Sitemap
    • Member Directory
      Last Name:
      First Name:
      Bar Number:
      City:


    • Login
OSB Logo

Oregon State Bar Bulletin — JUNE 2009
The Legal Writer
Clear or Confusing?:
When Repetition Works (and Doesn’t)
By Suzanne E. Rowe

I love novels that are rich with descriptions. I marvel at writers whose vocabulary is so vast that they can describe three dark and stormy nights with completely different words, and thus create completely different moods.

But in legal writing, clarity is crucial. Sometimes achieving clarity means dully repeating the same word time after time. Of course, with every rule, there’s an opposite rule: Sometimes achieving clarity means using different words to do different things. In other words, variation is sometimes clearer than repetition. Confused? Read on!

Clarifying with Repetition
Repetition is valued in legal writing when it promotes clarity. Once you’ve reviewed your vast vocabulary and selected the best word to name someone or something, sticking with that word will help your reader identify the same person or thing each time the word appears in your document.

For example, once you’ve decided that the getaway vehicle was a car, stick with car. If you switch over to SUV or Ford or minivan, your reader could think a new vehicle has entered the scene. Those terms are more precise, but they aren’t what the reader is expecting. If you want to use a precise term, do it early and be consistent.

Don’t think that you can go willy-nilly in the other direction either. Once you’ve selected the word car, don’t later use the more generic vehicle, which could be a truck or a motorcycle.

This suggestion for repetition applies to adjectives as well as to nouns. Once you decide that the car was black, don’t switch to midnight or dark-colored.

Consider the possibility of encountering these three sentences at various points in a short summary of facts.

The video recording at the scene showed the robbers jumping into a black car.

A few blocks away, they were seen in the midnight SUV counting the money.

The dark-colored vehicle ran out of gas near Paisley.

Did these enterprising robbers have three modes of transportation lined up? Or could the writer just not decide how best to describe the car (or do I mean vehicle)?

Repetition works well in litigation, where parties could be identified by their names, by generic descriptions or by procedural designations. In the following excerpt, Christine Coats is the plaintiff, the appellant and the patient. Grace General Hospital is the defendant and the respondent (or the appellee, depending on the jurisdiction), and could be referred to as Grace, Grace General, GGH or the hospital. If you use a different noun for each party in each sentence, your reader could end up very confused (especially without the little cheat sheet I just provided).

Ms. Coats filed the action below against Grace General seeking $1 million in damages. The trial court dismissed the plaintiff’s the claim, and the patient appealed, arguing that GGH had not met its burden of proof. The respondent now files this brief, urging the appellate court to affirm the trial court’s decision in favor of the hospital.

Huh?

Clarifying with Variation
Repetition can be confusing, though, when the same word serves two functions in the same sentence. Words like claim and support can be both nouns and verbs, but making them do double duties in one sentence can trip up your reader. Even using slightly different forms of the same word — for example, support and supporting — can give your reader pause.

Confusing: The claim filed by the homeowners claims the city council acted illegally in approving the new zoning plan.

You could use a more specific word for the first claim, such as complaint or petition. Or your could change the second to a synonym like asserts or alleges.

Clearer: The petition filed by the homeowners claims the city council acted illegally in approving the new zoning plan.

Clearer: The claim filed by the
homeowners alleges the city council acted illegally in approving the new zoning plan.

Let’s try the same with variations of support. The sentence below is both confusing and unnecessarily dull.

Confusing: The supporting documents clearly supported the bank’s argument.

Clearer: The supporting documents clearly bolstered the bank’s argument.

The word case presents special challenges. Lawyers know that a case is the dispute or proceeding before a court, but this word also crops up in expressions that have nothing to do with courts. Consider in that case (meaning in that instance) and in case (meaning if).

Confusing: In that case, the judge should overturn the case.

The first use means instance or situation, and one of those words could make the sentence clearer.

Clearer: In that situation, the judge should overturn the case.

Clarifying without Pronouns
A related problem is when to repeat the noun as opposed to using a pronoun. I’ve already waxed eloquently on that topic in “Problems with Pronouns” and “Finessing Gender Pronouns,” but one point deserves repetition: If you risk confusion by using a pronoun, just repeat
the noun.

The confusion could come because you’re trying to avoid a gender-specific pronoun for a singular noun. If your solution is to use a plural pronoun, curmudgeonly readers may be confused. You see, we don’t expect plural pronouns to
replace singular nouns.

Confusing: Each attorney should devote time to pro bono activities that theyfind rewarding.

The first problem is that the plural pronoun they does not refer to the singular noun attorney. The second problem is that the plural pronoun they does refer — albeit unintentionally — to the plural
pronoun activities, which is the immediately preceding noun that matches the pronoun in number. But that grammatically correct reading doesn’t make sense (i.e., the activities don’t find anything rewarding). If you must use the singular attorney, simply repeat that noun later in the sentence.

Clearer: Each attorney should devote time to pro bono activities that the attorney finds rewarding.

You might be tempted to make the first noun plural, a common fix with noun-pronoun problems. But is the following example really clearer? “Attorneys should all devote time to pro bono activities that they find rewarding.” I still think they refers to activities, so I’m still confused (as well as old-fashioned).

Confusion with pronouns could come because you think that a collective item is plural. Sorry, but we curmudgeons still insist that a court is a single thing (even though comprised of several judges), as is a legislature (although composed of many members).

Confusing: The court should grant certiorari in cases that they believe will impact major public policies.

Technically, the word they refers to cases. But the sentence surely doesn’t mean that the cases believe anything. The point is “that the court believes” something. So why not repeat the noun?

Clearer: The court should grant certiorari in cases that the court believes will impact major public policies.

Clarifying Conclusion
Confusing variation and confusing repetition slip like ghosts into our writing. Realizing the problems they can cause might increase your vigilance in busting them out.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Suzanne E. Rowe is an associate professor at the University of Oregon School of Law, where she directs the Legal Research and Writing Program. As the Luvaas Faculty Fellow for 2008-2009, she is grateful to the Luvaas Faculty Fellowship Endowment Fund for support of her articles in The Legal Writer.

© 2009 Suzanne E. Rowe


— return to top
— return to Table of Contents

  • For The Public

      Public Legal Information

    • Public Information Home
    • Legal Information Topics
    • Juror Handbook

    • Getting Legal Help

    • Finding The Right Lawyer
    • Hiring A Lawyer
    • Lawyers Fees

    • Client Services

    • Client Assistance Office
    • Client Security Fund
    • Fee Dispute Resolution
    • Public Records Request
    • Locating Attorney Files

    • Unlawful Practice of Law

    • UPL Information
    • UPL FAQ

    • Volunteer Opportunities

    • Public Member Application
  • For Members

    OSB Login

    • Log In To OSB Site
    • Member Account Setup
    • Non-Member Account Setup
    • Reset Password

    OSB Resources

    • Attorney's Marketplace
    • Career Center
    • Events
    • Forms Library
    • Online Resources
    • OSB Group Listings
    • Performance Standards
    • Rules Regulations and Policies
    • Surveys and Research Reports
    • Unclaimed Client Funds
    • Voting Regions and By-City
      County Information

    Fastcase™

    • Log in to Fastcase
    • Overview
    • Scheduled Webinars
    • Inactive Member Subscriptions

    Legal Ethics

    • Legal Ethics Home
    • Find an Ethics Opinion
    • Bulletin Bar Counsel Archive

    Company Administrator

    • Company Administrator Home
    • Company Administrator FAQ
    • Authorization Form

    State Lawyers
    Assistance Committee

    • SLAC Info

    Volunteering

    • Volunteer Opportunities

    Court Information

    • Judicial Vacancies
    • Court Info | Calendars | Jury Info
    • Oregon Attorneys
      in Federal Court
    • Tribal Courts of Oregon

    OSB Publications

    • Bar Bulletin Magazine
    • – Bulletin Archive
    • – Legal Writer Archive
    • Capitol Insider
    • Disciplinary Board Reporter

    PLF Programs

    • (OAAP) Oregon Attorney
      Assistance Program
    • Practice Management Attorneys
    • Malpractice Coverage
  • CLE/Legal Publications

    CLE Seminars

    • CLE Seminars Home
    • Online Seminar Registration
    • General Info/FAQ

    My Account

    • My Content
    • My Events
    • Order History

    Legal Publications

    • Legal Publications Home
    • Log in to BarBooks
    • BarBooks FAQ
    • Online Bookstore
    • Legal Pubs Blog
  • Bar Programs

    Diversity & Inclusion

    • Diversity & Inclusion Home
    • Diversity Story Wall
    • D&I Programs
    • ACDI Roster
    • D&I Staff Contacts
    • D&I Links

    Legislative/Public Affairs

    • Legislative Home
    • Committee Contacts
    • Legislative Sessions
    • Staff Contacts
    • Useful Links

    Legal Services Program

    • LSP Home

    Oregon Law Foundation

    • OLF Home
    • Partners in Justice

    Fee Dispute Resolution

    • Fee Dispute Resolution Home

    Pro Bono

    • Pro Bono Home
    • Pro Bono Reporting
    • Volunteer Opportunities

    Lawyer Referral and Information Services

    • RIS Login
    • Summary of Referral and Information Services Programs
    • Lawyer Referral Service Info and Registration Forms
    • Modest Means Program Registration Forms
    • Military Assistance Panel Training Info and Registration Form
    • Problem Solvers Registration Form
    • Lawyer To Lawyer Registration Form

    (LRAP) Loan Repayment Assistance Program

    • LRAP Home
    • LRAP FAQ
    • LRAP Policies
  • Member Groups

    Sections

    • Section Info/Websites
    • Joining Sections
    • CLE Registration Services
    • Standard Section Bylaws (PDF)
    • Leadership Resources
    • Treasurers Tools

    Committees

    • Home
    • Leadership Resources
    • Professionalism Commission
    • Volunteer Opportunities

    House of Delegates

    • HOD Home
    • HOD Resources
    • Meetings
    • Rules (PDF)
    • Roster (PDF)
    • Staff Contacts

    Board of Governors

    • BOG Home
    • Meetings & Agendas
    • Members
    • Liaisons
    • Committees
    • Resources
    • Task Forces

    Oregon New Lawyers Division

    • ONLD Home
    • Law Students
    • Student Loan Repayment
    • Committees
    • Upcoming Events

    Task Forces and Special Committees

    • Task Forces Home

    Volunteer Bars

    • List/Contacts
    • Leadership Resources

    Volunteering

    • Volunteer Opportunities
  • Licensing/Compliance

    Admissions

    • Admissions Home
    • Alternative Admittance
    • Applicants for Admission
    • Admissions Forms
    • Past Bar Exam Results

    Licensed Paralegal Program

    • LP Home

    Pro Hac Vice/Arbitration

    • Pro Hac Vice
    • Arbitration

    Lawyer Discipline

    • Discipline Home
    • Disciplinary Board Reporter
    • Disciplinary Boards
    • Client Assistance Office
    • (SPRB) State Professional Responsibility Board

    Membership Records

    • Address Changes
    • Good Standing Certificate
    • Request Discipline File Review

    MCLE

    • MCLE Home
    • Program Database
    • Forms
    • Rules (PDF)

    IOLTA Reporting

    • IOLTA Home
    • IOLTA FAQ

    Membership Fees

    • Member Fee FAQ
    • Member Fee Payment

    Status Changes

    • Status Changes FAQ
    • Inactive Status Form
    • Retired Status Form
    • Active Pro Bono Status Form
    • Reinstatement Forms
    • Resignation Form A
    • Pending Reinstatements

    Unlawful Practice of Law

    • UPL Information
    • UPL FAQ

    New Lawyer Mentoring Program

    • New Lawyer Mentoring Program Home

    Professional Liability Fund

    • Professional Liability Fund Website
For The Public

Public Information Home
Legal Information Topics
Juror Handbook
Finding The Right Lawyer
Hiring A Lawyer
Lawyers Fees
Client Assistance Office
Public Records Request
Unlawful Practice of Law
Fee Dispute Resolution
Client Security Fund
Volunteer Opportunities
for the Public

For Members

BarBooks™
Bulletin Archive
Career Center
Fastcase™
Judicial Vacancies
Legal Ethics Opinions
OSB Group Listings
OSB Login
OSB Rules & Regs
SLAC Info
Surveys and Reports
Volunteer Opportunities

CLE/Legal Pubs

CLE Seminars Home
Legal Publications Home

Bar Programs

Diversity & Inclusion
Fee Arbitration/Mediation
Legal Services Program
Legislative/Public Affairs
Loan Repayment
Assistance Program

Oregon Law Foundation
Pro Bono

Member Groups

Board of Governors
Committees
House of Delegates
Volunteer Bars
Oregon New
Lawyers Division

OSB Sections
Professionalism
Commission

Volunteer Opportunities

About The Bar

About the Bar
ADA Notice
Contact Info
Copyright Notice
Directions to the Bar
Meeting Room Rentals
Mission Statement
OSB Job Opportunities
Privacy Policy
Staff Directory
Terms of Use

Licensing/Compliance

Admissions
Client Assistance Office
Client Security Fund
IOLTA Reporting
Lawyer Discipline
MCLE
Member Fee FAQ
New Lawyer
Mentoring Program

Professional Liability Fund
Status Changes

Oregon State Bar Center

Phone: (503) 620-0222
Toll-free in Oregon: (800) 452-8260
Facsimile: (503) 684-1366

Building Location:
16037 SW Upper Boones Ferry Road
Tigard, OR 97224

Mailing Address:
PO Box 231935
Tigard, OR 97281

Oregon State Bar location Map

Copyright ©1997 Oregon State Bar  ®All rights reserved | ADA Notice | Mission Statement | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use