Oregon State Bar Bulletin — JULY 2008

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Reader-Friendly Transitions:
Showing the way from here to there
By Suzanne E. Rowe

In creating a document, a writer chooses an order in which to present her ideas. The rushed writer may inadvertently choose an order that reflects only the mishmash of ideas rattling around in her brain. The careful writer thinks about a logical sequence that will make sense to the reader. Then the careful writer adds transitions that make that logical sequence obvious to the reader. These are "reader-friendly transitions."

Reader-friendly transitions are essential for conveying complex ideas effectively, but including them in your writing takes some effort. Part of the effort will be because you haven’t yet organized the material in the clearest way; patching on a few transition words can’t fix bad organization. Instead, you’ll need to continue cutting, pasting, adding and deleting. Once the organization is perfect, you’ll still need to invest some effort in searching for the exact word or phrase that shows the organization to the reader.

Transitions can signpost a number of upcoming events: examples, results, comparisons, contradictions, summaries, conclusions, blockbuster movies (just kidding). Websites that list transitions by category are noted at the end of this article. The rest of this article explains how to use transitions effectively to lead your reader from here to there.

Numeric Transitions
Ordinal numbers are often effective transitions. As an example, following an introduction that outlines four elements of a tort, the single word first can signal to the reader that the discussion is shifting from the general introduction to a detailed analysis of the first element. Moving on to the second element in a later paragraph, the writer may use second, and so on. This isn’t rocket science, but just wait till you see how easy it is to mess up.

In the example below, the initial sentence effectively tells the reader to look out for two rules. Then the writer highlights those two rules with first and second.

Good Example: Courts generally consider two rules in defining "active participant" in worker’s compensation cases. First, an active participant is one who assumes an active or aggressive role in the assault. To assume this role, a person must either initiate a physical altercation or verbally incite a physical response. Second, courts consider any possibility of disengagement between the parties involved in the assault prior to its occurrence.

Note that after the initial sentence, the writer could have elaborated on where the two rules originated or how they compare to the rules in other states. Different transitions would have been needed. Instead, the writer clearly signals that the second sentence explains the first rule. The following sentence elaborates on the first rule. The transition second in the last sentence moves the reader to the next rule. Without that simple word, the reader may not know whether the last sentence in the example is continuing the elaboration of the first rule or stating the second.

Note that numbers have limits as useful transitions. Sometimes writers toss in numeric transitions when they add no substance at all. First, second, third, last provide little help to the reader in these situations. Take a look at the mess in the next example.

Weak Example: First, courts generally consider two rules in defining "active participant" in worker’s compensation cases. Second, an active participant is one who assumes an active or aggressive role in the assault. Third, to assume this role, a person must either initiate a physical altercation or verbally incite a physical response. Last, courts consider any possibility of disengagement between the parties involved in the assault prior to its occurrence.

These transitions aggressively confuse the analysis, even when the sentences themselves are in order. (Imagine the confusion if the sentences were out of order, too!) No, transitions don’t require the work of rocket scientists, but even the most obtuse reader could have counted to four and numbered the sentences. When you’re tempted to take this easy way out, dig deeper and put forth a bit more effort.

By the way, writers have recently decided that first, second, third, last are not sufficiently sophisticated. These words have been dolled up with –ly endings. Does firstly justify your billable rate more than first?

Connective Transitions
Some transitions show the logical connection of sentences. As examples, after, next and then indicate a sequence of events. However and although suggest a contradiction or problem. Therefore and thus signal a conclusion. In the following example, the transition words after, then and although show the connections.

Example: In a leading case, the court held that the employee was an active participant when he both physically and verbally initiated a fight. After verbally assaulting his boss for not giving him the night off, the employee turned his aggression toward a coworker, accusing him of being favored. The employee then grabbed the bandaged arm of his coworker, who struck back. The court held that the employee’s anger, vocal tirade and threatening gestures initiated the altercation. Although the employee received the only punch thrown, he was still an active participant.

Be careful when using the concluding words therefore and thus. You must be sure that the conclusion flows from all you have written beforehand and that the conclusion is justified. What if the example above had ended with this conclusion? "Thus, the employee was denied compensation." That conclusion doesn’t logically follow from the partial discussion that precedes it; there are more elements that must be shown before an employee can be excluded from recovery. Dressing up the sentence with thus doesn’t ensure that you’re presenting a sound conclusion.

Bridging Language
Reader-friendly transitions can be provided by repeating words or phrases from earlier in the document. The previous sentence, for example, harkened back to the opening of this article, where the term "reader-friendly transitions" was introduced. The repeated words formed a bridge connecting the two pieces of the article.

Some of the most effective bridging language repeats key words in consecutive sentences. Remember your English teacher telling you to begin one sentence as you ended the last one? Of course, if you take her literally, your writing will be dully repetitive. But look at the following two examples for effective bridging (noting that the first repeats just a word, while the second repeats a bit more).

Example 1: The first rule for determining who is an active participant considers whether the employee used language capable of inciting a physical response. This language requirement demands more than just a heated exchange of words.

Example 2: The first rule for determining the active participant considers whether the employee used language capable of inciting a physical response. Language that could incite a physical response must be more than just a heated exchange of words.

Bridging language can also be used to remind the reader where you’ve been and where you’re going. The next example begins analysis of the second element in a worker’s compensation claim.

Example: After proving that the employee was an active participant, Company X will likely be able to show that his fight with a coworker was not connected to his job assignment and was a deviation from his duties as an account manager.

The first clause, "After proving that the employee was an active participant," reminds the reader that the first element has just been established but more lies ahead. The rest of the sentence provides a roadmap of the next argument.

Variety
As you insert transitions, remember that variety is the spice of life. Avoid the monotony of including the same boring transition again and again and again. In a chronological statement of your client’s facts or a review of the facts of a leading case, adding the word then or next to the beginning of each sentence does little to lead the reader through the story in an interesting or helpful way.

Also avoid the monotony of beginning every sentence and paragraph with a one-word transition. Note the repetitive sentence structure in the following example.

Example: One court held that the employee’s words had not incited a physical response, so he was not an active participant in the ensuing assault. First, the employee was angry with a foreman for having driven his truck. Then, the employee expressed this anger by directing abusive language at the foreman. Next, the foreman grabbed the employee’s jacket and pulled him. Then, both tripped over a chain and fell. Last, the employee rolled down a small hill, sustaining injuries that required medical attention.

Wake me up when you’re done. While I’m yawning, check out the websites listed below under notes.

Conclusion
Reader-friendly transitions — those that make a document’s organization clear to the reader — are well worth the effort. Just ask your reader.

Notes
The Online Writing Lab at Purdue – http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/01/

University of Richmond Writing Center – http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/trans1.html

Michigan State University Learning Resources Center – http://www.msu.edu/~jdowell/135/transw.html

Study Guides and Strategies – http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htm

Suzanne E. Rowe is an associate professor at the University of Oregon School of Law, where she directs the Legal Research and Writing Program. As the Luvaas Faculty Fellow for 2008-2009, she is grateful to the Luvaas Faculty Fellowship Endowment Fund for support of her articles in The Legal Writer. She appreciates the comments of Harvey Rogers on this article.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Suzanne E. Rowe is an associate professor at the University of Oregon School of Law, where she directs the Legal Research and Writing Program. As the Luvaas Faculty Fellow for 2008-2009, she is grateful to the Luvaas Faculty Fellowship Endowment Fund for support of her articles in The Legal Writer. She appreciates the comments of Harvey Rogers on this article.

 

© 2008 Suzanne E. Rowe

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