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THE LEGAL WRITER Talking Before Writing iStock Professional Conversations T his article is not about writing. No grammar or punctuation. No choosing the precise word or craft- ing a perfect transition. Instead, this article is about the art of having a conversation with another hu- man being. In the same room. Looking each other in the eye. Communicating without texting. I justify the article’s theme in a col- umn called “The Legal Writer” because often writing and conversations are inter- twined, one leading to another and both affecting overall success. If you don’t think you can bear 1,500 words on this nonwrit- ing topic, I urge you to jump ahead to the short section called “Listen.” The failure to listen is what’s missing from most con- versations, and it’s what prompted this ar- ticle. For the rest of you, let’s start at the beginning. Break the Ice Let’s assume that this is a conversation By Suzanne E. Rowe with someone you’ve never met. Perhaps you are at a bar association lunch or wait- ing outside a courtroom for proceedings to begin. Or perhaps you are a new lawyer going to your first office conference about your first big project. In each of these situ- ations, you need to have conversations that lay the groundwork for future inter- actions. First, smile. Smiling will make you look relaxed, and it will put the other person at ease. Then, introduce yourself. Say who you are and how you are con- nected to the event. “Hello, I’m Suzanne Rowe, and I teach at the law school. I’m bringing my students to observe oral ar- guments.” That short statement of con- nection might launch my new friend into a series of questions about my class, or it might prompt a story about the first time this attorney appeared in court. search on him so that you can slip a com- mon experience or interest into the early conversation and see if he picks up on it. “I think we went to the same law school” could lead you down memory lane togeth- er. “I hope this rain turns to snow so that I can go snowboarding this weekend,” and suddenly you’re having a fun conversation about something you both like to do. Converse My favorite dictionary defines a con- versation as “the informal exchange of ideas by the spoken word.” Isn’t that charming? It makes me think of Tho- reau and Emerson chatting about nature. Lawyers talk all the time, but that talking doesn’t always rise to the level of having a conversation. A conversation is an exchange of ideas. To exchange ideas, it’s helpful if both sides have ideas. The early ideas Lawyers talk all the time, but that talking doesn’t always rise to the level of having a conversation. If the person just nods, the conver- sation might be over. But it might also mean we need to warm up a little more. In other words, we need to waste time, talking about something that doesn’t re- ally matter while we are measuring each other up. In American society, we talk about the weather not because it’s fasci- nating — especially in western Oregon, where weather is often synonymous with rain — but because it buys us time. If you knew that you were going to meet this person (perhaps he is the next most junior attorney assigned to the big project), you might have done a little re- might be about snowboarding, but when the conversation bends to lawyerly pur- suits, you need to have some ideas about why you are together and what you hope to accomplish. Spend a few quiet mo- ments beforehand ensuring that you know the purpose of the meeting, what you might contribute, what you might be asked and what you need to ask. Don’t misinterpret “informal” as hap- hazard. You might enjoy a random ex- change in which you work through all of your ideas orally, from first spark to well forged image. Some of your conversation partners might prefer that you do that random neural firing on your own time. JULY 2016 • OREGON STATE BAR BULLETIN 13